Bc I have a lot of problems, and I feel like I have to solve the problems in my life on my own. I feel like I need to work on myself. Maybe I will start dating seriously when I move back to SF. I have been thinking about this. There’s been this idea that I’m not ready, that a relationship might threaten my emotional stability or my autonomy. But with my main ex, it was never like that. I talked to him for years when I was single but I felt like it would be wrong to burden him with my problems. I didn’t tell him I still had feelings until too late. But I think if I’d married him back then, I would have taken him for granted. I’m the type of person who needs to see all the options before I choose. I’m an optimizer. Like I said before, correlation is not causation. It is likely that the type of people who enjoy having many sexual partners are also the type to be less satisfied with the status quo and wanting something more. If I end up with someone like my ex, I know I personally will be happier than I would have been because I will see his value more rather than wondering if I could have done better, which I inevitably would have done, as an optimizer.