Getting Past Bullshit About Female Sexuality

Because I keep reading super annoying bs, I feel the need to present some research findings that contradicts some of the stereotypes people typically believe.

1. Women have sex for the same reasons men do

In a study of male and female motivations for sex among 1,549 undergraduate students, conducted by Meston et al., the top reasons indicated by female participants were “I was attracted to the person,” “I wanted to experience the physical pleasure,” and “it feels good.” These were the same top 3 reasons indicated by male participants in this study. [1].

2. Women are not more emotional about sex than men

This may be debatable. Certainly, historical, male-conducted research has consistently reported that women are very emotional and complicated. I’m not quite sure why some people are so invested in this narrative. However, Meston et al. found that “most of the emotional motivations for engaging in sex were not endorsed more frequently by women” [1]. Other researchers, who found men were more emotional about sex, asked the question, “Why does the cultural belief that men’s sexual happiness is relatively independent from relational factors persist, when scholarly research regularly demonstrates otherwise?” [10].

3. Stigma significantly inhibits female sexuality

Women face more stigma associated with engaging in casual sex. Meston found that, “for females, but not for males, presenting a favorable sexual image involved acting in a sexually restrained manner” [1]. In one experiment, sex differences in self-reported sexual behavior were negligible in a bogus pipeline condition in which participants believed lying could be detected. This pattern was clearest for behaviors considered less sociallhy acceptable for women than men. The researchers report, “Results suggest that some sex differences in self-reported sexual behavior reflect responses are influenced by normative expectations for men and for women” [2]. Other researchers have concluded, gender differences are often rooted, not in biology, but in stigma against women for expressing sexual desires, women’s socialization to attend to other’s needs rather than their own, and a double standard that dictates (different sets of) appropriate sexual behaviors for men and women [7]. Many other studies have indicated that gender roles limit sexual expression and lead to a number of sexual problems [8].

4. Disagreeable women give 0 fucks about social constructs

This is common sense. Meston found that, in women but not men, agreeableness was significantly negatively associated with how much emotional reasons were given for having sex. Relations between personality variables and reasons for having sex were much more apparent for men than for women. They note that, for women, “endorsing reasons for having sex other than love, commitment, and reproduction would be inconsistent with societal expectancies. Thus, in order for a woman to do so, and to report doing so, she would necessarily need to be less concerned about social dictates” [1]. This echoes results from another study that reported that disagreeable, unconscientious women were “more sexually experienced and more likely to engage in unrestrained sexual behaviors (e.g. higher number of lifetime sexual partners)” than were agreeable women [3].

5. Many studies report the gap is closing in gender differences

Despite the bs I see in Gynecology textbooks and various articles on Medium, research has shown a convergence in sexual attitudes and behaviors as women have gained more power and freedom in society. In multiple studies, an absence of gender difference has been reported in attitudes towards sexuality, self-reported sexual behavior, incidence of casual sexual interactions, number of sexual partners in the past year, desired number of lifetime sexual partners, and, as previously mentioned, primary motivations for having sex [1][2][7]. It is notable that, in one study, nations and ethnic groups with greater gender equity had smaller gender differences in sexual behaviors than nations and ethnic groups with less gender equity [9].

6. Predicted pleasure and risk mediate the relationship between gender and acceptance of casual sex encounters

In one study examining male versus female acceptance of casual sex propostions, “large differences emerged in perceptions of male versus female proposers’ sexual capabilities (with less pleasure anticipated from heterosexual male proposers), and perceived sexual capabilities was the only significant predictor (besides gender) of acceptance of a hypothetical sexual offer.” They also found that women perceive greater danger from the men than men did from women in terms of STD risk and physical threat. They note that when women were considering the less risky proposers, they were just as likely to agree to casual sex as men were (after acounting for perceptions of sexual capabilities) [6].

7. Attractiveness and status are important to both men and women

In one study, of speed-dating events, contrary to conventional wisdom, attractiveness and status were found to be equally important to men and women when considering actual dating partners. Moreover, in another study, gender differences in preference for status and attractiveness were absent in judgements of current romantic partners. It is also notable that gender differences in acceptance of heterosexual casual-sex proposals evaporate when participants consider sexual offers from very attractive or very unattractive famous individuals [7].

8. Increased clitoral stimulation explains female preference for relationships

Women report more clitoral stimulaton during sexual encounters in committed relationships than in hookups [7]. Though certainly both men and women experience emotional sex as more satisfying, a failure of men to meet womens’ needs in casual sex encounters explains a lot. This isn’t all on men, of course. Women need to be asking for what they want.

9. More educated women have more orgasms

I think this is so telling [11]. Education about vulvar anatomy and female sexual response is conducive to female pleasure. I also think smarter women learn to think more critically and for themselves, so they can get past the socioculturally-derived inhibitions (aka the bullshit).

I may add to this later. My references were all compiled in 2012, so they may be outdated. Input and insights are welcome.

[1] Meston CM, Buss DM. Why humans have sex. Arch Sex Behav. 2007;36:477–507.

[2] Alexander MG, Fisher TD: Truth and consequences: using the bogus pipeline to examine sex differences in self-reported sexuality. The Journal of Sex Resarch. 2003;40:27–35.

[3] Meston C, Trapnell P, Gorzalka B. Sex and the five factor model of personality. Paper presented at annual meeting of the international academy of sex research, Pacific Grove, CA 1993.

[4] Browning JR, Kessler D, Hatfield E, Choo P. Power, gender, and sexual behavior. The Journal of Sex Resarch. 1999;36:342–3347.

[5] Pedersen WC, Miller LC, Putcha-Bhagavatula A, Yang Y. Evolved sex differences in the number of partners desired? The long and short of it. Psycological Science. 2002;13:157–161.

[6] Conley TD. Perceived proposer personality characteristics and gender differences in acceptance of casual sex offers. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 2011;100:309–329.

[7] Conley TD, Moors AC, Matsick JL, Ziegler A, Valentine B. Women, Men, and the Bedroom: Methodological and Conceptual Insights That Narrow, Reframe, and Eliminate Gender Differences in Sexuality.

[8] Petersen JL, Hyde JS. Gender Differences in Sexual Attitudes and Behaviors: A Review of Meta-Analytic Results and Large Datasets. Journal of Sex Research. 2011;48:149–165.

[9] Petersen JL, Hyde JS. A Meta-Analytic Review of Research on Gender Differences in Sexuality, 1993–2007. Psycholgical Bulletin. 2010;136:21–38.

[10] Carpenter LM, Nathanson CA, Kin YJ. Physical Women, Emotional Men: Gender and Sexual Satisfaction in Midlife. Arch Sex Behav. 2009;38:87–107.

[11] Shifren JL, Monz BU, Russo PA, Segreti A, Johannes CB. Sexual problems and distress in United States women: Preva- lence and correlates. Obstet Gynecol. 2008;112:970 — 8.