I am not sure I have a solution. All I know is that most people do not care when victims speak up about problems. They don’t care about anything they don’t see as affecting them directly, and they usually don’t take action unless incentivized financially or by some threat to their own welfare. I know this sounds really cynical, but it is the general pattern.

So even if people find out there is a rapist, they don’t really care as long as he is not raping them. They actually will be really uncomfortable with the accusation and will not want to believe it. It will threaten their sense of security and so they will discredit the victim if they can. Or maybe they will think rapist is just not their problem or responsibility. It isn’t their problem to solve.

But if you make it their problem by making them acknowledge how they could potentially be at risk and show them that systems can be changed to reduce that risk, then maybe they will be motivated.

And it’s not just about one guy. There is a rape culture around it. But when people talk about changing rape culture to help lower rape proclivity and prevent rape, people just complain about how crazy feminists are and how they want to continue making their sexist jokes and continue insisting that men just have this inherent, violent sexuality or whatever. Every guy who doesn’t speak up when a friend makes a joke about raping a girlfriends asshole or luring college girls to a hotel room with drugs is contributing. That sort of stuff happens all the time and is a part of this system. But as long as people don’t care about changing problematic systems, it will continue.

This stuff is already changing slowly though. A lot of change has happened since the 90s and I think that’s how this can come out. I would bet that more women report rapes now than in the past due to the cultural changes that have taken place. I think it’s more constructive to focus on building systems that empower victims rather than criticizing what victims could have done better to stand up for themselves when the odds are stacked against them. I think this is happening. #metoo serves that very function.

I think every time people say that women are lying and that women want to be victims, this is harmful. This contemptuous narrative about feminists or women in general having a “victim mentality” is a problem. No one wants to be a victim. The fact is victims struggle to even talk about what happened to them bc of a sense of shame. One reason rapes don’t get reported is because it can be easier to move on and just repress it than to actually talk about it.

The only thing I’m wondering is did she not go to the cops?