This is not at all true for women. There are other studies I can cite, but that was the first one I thought of. Basically, women often grow up without much knowledge of their bodies and sexual function. It is not uncommon for women to be having sex for years before they have their first orgasm. It is also not uncommon for it to take time for women to unlearn all the negative messages they got about sex growing up — like that good girls aren’t sluts, for example.

I lost my virginity at 18. It was a disappointment. Maybe I had desire in that I was “boy crazy” but it didn’t translate to much desire for sex exactly.

I had my first orgasm at 21. My desire increased significantly after this event. I also started watching porn and loading up on sex toys.

Around age 24, I realized I didn’t need to worry about being too slutty. I learned to ask for what I wanted/needed so that I could orgasm too. My desire increased significantly.

But my sexuality wasn’t fully mature until I was nearly 28, when I fully realized I was entitled to sexual pleasure. In a tearful conversation with the man I was dating, I told him I was worth the extra trouble it takes to please me, and if he couldn’t be okay with it, we were not compatible. This was painful. At this point, I began not just asking for orgasms, but requiring them. My desire increased to where it is today.

Now, if I haven’t gotten laid in a few days with a boyfriend, I get extremely angry and ask to see other people. And if I don’t get laid for a few weeks while single, I call this an “emergency situation.”