This leads to a rather paradoxical thing; we assume women feel shame about their appearance because men don’t desire them, but I’ve started to realize I feel shame when men do desire me. When I wasn’t dating anyone for 2 years, looked like a total lezzie, and men never hit on me, I felt great about myself. As I get “prettier” to men, and as men do express desire, I begin to feel worse. Even when they compliment me, I often feel worse, and I think it’s because any compliment that cuts their emotionality out of the loop leads me feeling — bad, objectified, ashamed. Something like that.